How to deal with angry clients

Angry clients can be your biggest challenge or your greatest opportunity for strengthening relationships.

I’ve had people ask me before, “how do you go about managing difficult clients and difficult conversations?” And so I’ve had to spend quite a bit of time thinking about this and actually analysing what it is that I do.

Let me tell you a little story.

Last year, we were working away, my team and I. We’re all doing our different things and then, an email lands in our inbox. Chloe says to everyone, “guys, listen to this” and proceeds to read this email. So we’re listening and we’re listening and the office is really quiet and the client is having a good old winge. Everybody in our office starts sharing their opinions on what we should say back. We’re all just reacting to what’s in this email. Then it came to me – our client is just having a reaction. They’re reacting to something else that’s happened.

We’ve read this email and we’ve gone straight into research and investigation mode. What is it that happened here? Is this something that we even should be reading? Like, why are you sending us this email to complain about this? What is our role here? You can see how everything puts a spanner in the works. Everybody stops. We’re all scrambling. And in the midst of all of that, I have realised this is a reaction.

Now, luckily, I had actually just been updating the module in OBM Academy that’s all about difficult conversations and giving clients what they really need, not necessarily what you just see. I paused and I had all of this information rolling around in my head and I found it so funny because it’s like, Leanne, you’ve just been, talking to OBMs about this exact thing.

So, I have eight tips for you. Eight tips on how to gently deal with angry clients and difficult conversations.

This episode shares:  

• Breathe, don’t react: Do not react to their reaction.
  
• Redefine your purpose: Learn why rethinking your response strategy can turn confrontations into collaborations.
• Look beneath the surface: Search for the hidden why.
• Think about who the problem relates to: Keep your emotional distance.
• Measure the level of input needed: Assess if the complaint reflects on your services.
• Take an outsider perspective and come up with a solution.: Stop thinking about the who and help with a solution.
• Don’t be passive aggressive: No one likes it and it makes the situation worse.
• Take ownership: Own your role, mistakes and all.

Breathe, don’t react

Do not react to an angry client’s reaction. Stop and take a breath. When you react to something so fast, yo’re often not thinking clearly. What you need to do, is take a breath and think about whatever the situation is that you’re in, regardless of whether it’s an email from a client or something completely different in life, then reply.

Tip:💡In the heat of a client crisis, implement a ‘reflective break’ where you step back to defuse and deliberate before replying.

Redefine your purpose

When we’ve received an angry or unpleasant email, we need to remember that our purpose for reading the email and our purpose for responding to the email is not to defend anyone.

You never should read an email with the pretence that this is just an attack on you. “This is just someone saying that I’ve done the wrong thing.” Ac accusatory. Because let’s be honest, email has no tone and there are so many other things that can come into play. When we’re reading things like this and when we’re responding, our purpose needs to be to re-establish security. Usually, if you’ve got an email or are having a conversation where it feels a little bit like, “hang on, are they trying to say I’ve done the wrong thing?”, it’s not actually about you or what you’ve done. There’s something that is underlying that the person that you’re communicating with needs security around. They’re concerned about something. If they weren’t concerned, they wouldn’t have brought it up.

Tip:💡Change your communication lens and view client complaints as a request to reassure, not retaliate.

Look beneath the surface

Look beneath the surface. What is the problem really?
Or what is the question that they’re asking you really? Because just like you, people can be quite intimidated to have conversations that make them uncomfortable. They also might not be super confident having to ask for help with something because it makes them feel like they’re not the most knowledgeable.

People find it hard to ask for help. People find it hard to go, “oh, I don’t know how to do this, but these people will know”, and sometimes in their own stuff, they get stuck there. Then when they come back to you and say, “I need help. Can someone just show me this thing?”, it seems like they’re having a go, but really, they’ve had this whole internal dialogue already and it has nothing to do with you.

So, we want to work out what the problem really is because the reaction that you’re seeing is just that. It’s a reaction at their action to an occurrence based on something. It’s a symptom. So it’s not the actual source and that’s why usually when you get some kind of email or conversation that has a negative connotation, there’s something it’s stemming from. That’s why I say don’t react to their reaction. I’m not reacting to their action. I’m reacting to their reaction. Because it reminds me that there’s a reason they’re doing that. They’re reacting to something else and if I can work out there’s something else this will all get resolved calmly.

Tip:💡 Assign a sleuth’s mindset and inquire deeper, looking past the complaint for underlying issues that, when resolved, dissolve the anger.

Think about who the problem relates to

This will change how you manage the entire situation. Sometimes you get the brunt of a reaction, but it actually has nothing to do with you. It has to do with something someone else did and you just happen to be the person who usually has the answers.

So in this situation, my team and I are pulling all of this aparta and it actually had nothing to do with any of us. It was aimed at somebody else, but we’ve been included because we usually have the ability to go, “ah, if this is what you’re needing, here you go”.

So, it’s really important to think about what your role is in the situation and keep a cool head.

Tip:💡Think about your role and how it relates.

Measure the level of input needed

When you’re dealing with things like this, when you get an email that lands in your inbox like that, measure the level of input needed.

In this one scenario, the email was read, everybody stopped. Then we had a big conversation. Then we thought about other things. Imagine how much time we wasted. Collaboratively. It might not have been much individually, but that’s an hour of our time just because we all decided to talk about it and have our little panic.

And really, it wasn’t even for us. So I could have just saved myself an hour by going, hmm, not quite sure about this, I’ll deal with it later and see what happens. So we want to measure how much time we’re going to put in, discussing with other people and investigating what happened and when, right? You don’t want to spend hours gathering facts and information for something that’s not really a priority or doesn’t matter.

It just seems like something at the moment or you’ve just perceived it a certain way, not that the client has. You’re just wasting precious time. So I really want you to think about the impact of whatever the conversation pertains to.

Tip:💡 Remain professionally detached to assess if the complaint genuinely reflects on you or your services.

Take an outsider perspective and come up with a solution

Without going down the rabbit hole of here’s a 27 step pathway to fix this, you might read that email and go, okay, I can see that you might have perceived it as they’re really annoyed because they can never find the podcast episode that they’re looking for and they’ve asked 57, 000 times and I can’t believe it’s not in my inbox and can someone just give me the link?

You might have nothing to do with the process of how this person gets access to a podcast or where they’re saved or anything. But, you might also know exactly where all the episodes are. Instead of reacting and being annoyed, just email back and go, “Hey, saw your email. I’m guessing you probably want to know where the latest podcast is. It’s here, and where the stats are that show how it’s performing. These are here. Let me know if you need anything else”.

Instead of going down the pathway of trying to justify and think about all the things, you’ve just given them exactly what they needed and it’s taken two minutes.

So, it’s taking all the drama out and looking for what it is that they actually need right now

Tip:💡Convert reactive impulses into proactive, thoughtful solutions that address the root of your client’s dissatisfaction.

Don’t be passive aggressive

Here’s the thing with passive aggression, it’s easy. It’s quite easy to be passive aggressive and then to hide behind the fact that we haven’t yelled and, I don’t understand why anybody could really point some blame at the way I’m behaving because I haven’t done anything that’s overtly aggressive.

But passive aggression is just another form of aggression, and it will just make it worse. Adding in snarky comments or being sarcastic with situations like this, just blows it up. Except when you behave that way you’ve behaved the wrong way as well. So all of a sudden if someone else has been behaving in a manner that’s incorrect, you’ve just put yourself in the firing line straight with them because you’re not dealing with it in an assertive manner. You’re still being aggressive and snarky in a different way and it doesn’t make anybody feel good and it will not make the situation better.

At the end of the day, you might feel like you’ve had your two cents of, “I showed them”. It doesn’t really give you satisfaction and it just means there’s going to be another conversation that’s had later.

Tip:💡If you find someone is being passive aggressive toward you, call it out and tell them you’re happy to speak but not like this and end the conversation for now. Passive aggression gets you no where and it makes situations worse.

Take ownership

If you get this email and it is a result of an error that you’ve made or something that you’ve done or not done, don’t reply.

Just pick up the phone and apologise.

Don’t beg. Do. Not. Beg. If you’ve made a mistake, you’re a human being and we make mistakes.

If saying sorry and doing what you can to rectify the practical situation in front of you is not enough, then really, your client is a butt. That’s the reality here. They’re not very nice, they’re not going to accept that humans make errors sometimes. That you were a big enough person to go, “Hey, yep, that one was me fixing it”. They can either move on or they can fester and be annoyed about it. But I find that a lot of OBMs will go into that begging for forgiveness point. “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’ve done this. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. What can I do? I’ll do anything”, then the next thing and the next thing. And that’s the narrative they always get. Whereas if you can step back a little bit. Fix the situation and then put in place things so that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore, you’re going to get a lot better of a response and you’re going to have much more ownership over your role.

Everybody can move forward like grown ups, which is the aim of the game here.

Tip:💡Own your role and find a solution to whatever mistake you made.

And… that’s a wrap!

If you follow the eight different things that I’ve said in this episode, usually what will happen is you’ll be dealing with your angry client in a way that diffuses the situation, which is the aim of the game  – to recognise that someone is unhappy about something. That there are multiple perspectives as to what it is and why that could be and working out a way to give the person what they really need so they can walk away feeling good and not have that frustration anymore. I hope that that helps you so that next time you get an email like that or have to have a conversation like that, you’re not panicked and you have a little bit of a roadmap on how to handle it.

If we have steps to take, we can remove part of the emotion and that’s the hardest bit – removing the emotion from these situations.

Want more OBM tips & tricks leads?

We’ve got just the resource for you.

Embark on your path to becoming a six-figure Online Business Manager with our comprehensive FREE roadmap. Gain insights into key strategies, and build the confidence needed to align your service with the value you bring. Don’t wait.

Hungry for more? Yearning to fast-track your journey to a successful, 6-figure OBM career? Our OBM Academy is here for you. Gain access to exclusive support, invaluable resources, and the tools you need to sharpen your skills and elevate your OBM career. Don’t miss this opportunity.

Links you’ll love:

• FREE: 9 Steps to Six Figure OBM Roadmap
• Join the OBM Academy
• Listen to all Audacious OBM Podcast Episodes